i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I will die if light touches me.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
