What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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