Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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