We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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