he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
