North Korea, Best Korea!
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
