Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
