marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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