Is it normal to miss your booty call?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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