He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
