I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
