I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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