he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
