Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
