did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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