my soul wont recognize me after tonight
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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