I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
