You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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