well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
