Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
