Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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