Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
