Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
