I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
