I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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