U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
