Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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