What did we do last night that was yellow?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
