No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
