Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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