What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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