The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The power of my boobs compel you
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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