I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
love makes seman taste better
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
