What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
