ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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