I cockslap morals
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
