I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
