So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
