He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
