can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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