Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
