haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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