i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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