My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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