Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize