sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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