i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
