Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize