I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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