i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
