I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
