If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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