ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
