And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
being pregnant is like rehab
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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