There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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