i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
