mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
