writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
