I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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